203.716.1170 mike@mikecarlon.com

Misunderstood song lyrics are always fun. Take for example Bad Moon Rising. I used to think, “There’s a bad moon on the rise,” was actually, “There’s a bathroom on the right.”

You know what’s funnier? When you are at dinner with your family and your daughter orders steak tips but you hear steak tits and then ask, “Did you just order steak tits?” and watch everyone at the table lose it.  

Me: “I didn’t know you could order steak tits. Are you going to get a glass of milk with your steak tits or is the milk built in?”

The Misunderstood Child: “Dad, stop. You are embarrassing us.”

Guilty as charged, but this happened on the first night we arrived on the cape. It was a 5.5-hour drive and let’s just say we all needed to let off a little steam after a long day of driving.

Day three is now complete. Today I ran a 10K and spent some time down at the beach with 5 teenagers—I guess I’m not that embarrassing because they let me sit with them. Afterwards, I had to take our two tag-a-longs down to Providence so they could catch a train back home. I got a tasty grilled cheese sandwich out of the deal so while it stunk to have to leave the cape for four hours, at least I was well fed.

Tomorrow I’m going to start preparing a 7-minute stand-up set for a bringer show I arranged at Dangerfield’s on 7/18. I’m excited about the show but need to make some changes to the material I have been working on since January as I want my voice to be cleaner.

It strikes me that so many of the guys I’ve been doing sets with since January lean on 3 P’s; pot, penis, and profanity, which is fine—it works for many of them. I’m realizing, though, that while I’ve tried jokes along all those lines, they don’t feel right for me. I want my voice to be cleaner, not because I object to any of those things, but when I try material along those lines it doesn’t feel genuine. I listen to plenty of guys who work clean and get plenty of laughs including Rodney Norman, Jim Gaffigan, and Bill Cosby. Maybe, scratch that last one.

The point is, I want to try to be funny without going blue. Except when I’m talking about steak tits—that’s just too funny not to share.

I always loved the movie Top Secret! The cow scene is classic.

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